Wednesday, March 18, 2009
"Working Here Makes Me Sad"
Working here makes me sad."
That's what Kim said to Suzette when she quit the Bunny Ranch. Suzette just looked at her. Didn't say a word. What can you say to that ? When I think of it, "sad" is the most appropriate word to describe it. Of all the words I can think of to describe my tenure at the Bunny Ranch, "sad" sums it up for me.
I think that working there makes everyone sad. That's why they try to distance themselves from reality. It's not rocket science.
Mind-altering substances + distance from reality = the ability to work there. And for those poor souls who weren't on mind-altering substances, the "distance" thing is hard accomplish. If you cannot distance yourself, then your tenure at the brothel will be short indeed. Kim was one of their best employees, despite the fact that she was spending the night in my room frequently.
A few people knew it, too. But, because of her hard work and the respect that it earned her, as well as the "forcefield" of quasi-respect that I had, no one in management knew. Actually, we could have kept up that little charade for quite a while. But, then again....no we could not have. Know why ?
Because working there made us sad.
No one can have a healthy relationship and still be a Bunny-Bot. No. One. The key word there is "healthy." Kim and I left because we wanted to know each other in the real world and love each other without sneaking around. And I must say: I love her more and more each day. I doubt that I could have appreciated her and remained at the Ranch. And vice-versa.
How many of you could be in a relationship where your girlfriend, wife, or fiance was a prostitute ? And Kim saw me being a prostitute. She had to watch a guy pick me from line-up, go back into my room, and negotiate a party. She had to see me come out of my room after a couple of hours, with Dude's credit card in my hand, my eyes glowing because I just booked another $4000, and see me go back for another two hours of lay-for-pay. She watched it. How many of you could do that ?
No wonder she was so sad.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Can Hookers Save Our Attitudes About Sex ? Ummmm, NO...
Today, we'll be discussing the puritanical attitudes that people have towards sex. We'll also look at why that is no justification for legalizing prostitution. You'll have your opportunity to make your opinions known, but know this: whatever your opinions are, I will have an answer to them.
Americans are wholly hypocritical when it comes to the idea of sex. We sell sex everyday; whether it is the sexy model standing beside the luxury car, or the scantily-clad woman selling her latest CD. We fall for these sales tactics and buy these products and then we tell our children to be chaste and pure. As a result, our children are growing up with unhealthy ideas regarding sex; many of them are becoming highly promiscuous and are developing numerous STD's in the process. Why, just the other day, my 14 year-old daughter told me that she's upset because they guy that she had sex with now wants nothing to do with her. She didn't want to tell me what was going on, lest the opinion that I had of her being a vestal virgin was shattered. When she finally told me, I asked her "well, was that your first time ?" She admitted that it wasn't. And I said "well, then why are you so hesitant to tell me ?" She was hesitant because of her father's reaction when she told him.
All I said was "well, we need to get you on birth control...and I would like for you to be more selective about who you sleep with." Of course, my insides were tied in knots because, as a mother who has seen quite a lot in life, I still cannot protect my daughter from everything. I can't protect her from guys who use her and throw her away. I cannot protect her from the feelings of confusion that come with being a 14-year old. (Almost 15, but you get the idea.) All I can do is give her the best advice possible and not be too upset with these little admissions. And I can teach her about healthy sex.
"Healthy" sex is essential in every relationship. I have had lots and lots of "good" sex, but never healthy sex until I found the love of my life. In past relationships, we tried spicing things up with another person, a threesome if you will. It didn't work. The threesome itself was fine and no jealous feelings ensued. But, the relationship ended because we were not compatible. No amount of "spicing things up" is going to save a relationship where the two parties are not compatible.
When I worked at the Ranch, I had good sex, mediocre sex, forgettable sex, and awkward sex. None of it was healthy. Mostly because I was not healthy; none of my fellow hookers were healthy. I was always drunk, always stoned, and frequently high on coke. I was also doing the horizontal bop with women's husbands, children's fathers, and it was all anonymous. I barely remember anyone's name and I certainly couldn't tell you how many men and women I slept with while at the Ranch. In my humble, but well-educated opinion, anonymous sex is not healthy. It may be necessary for humans to have various sexual encounters of an anonymous nature in order to find themselves and explore things sexually; but the amount of anonymous sex that I had was not healthy. It didn't make me grow as a person. It didn't make me feel good about myself...or about sex. When you're hawking your yoni like it's a bargain-bin sale item, it's difficult to find any semblance of normalcy in the grand scheme of things.
Prostitution isn't the answer to ending America's stodgy attitude about sex. Honest discussions, loving exploration of our bodies, and sex education for our youth is a better idea. The prostitutes may know more about sex, especially in terms of the different fetishes, tastes, and positions. But, not only are they living an unhealthy life-style, but they are shooting from the hip like we all are. These are not sex therapists; therapists don't compete with each other to render their services to the public at-large in the same way that prostitutes do.
Tell me: If your car had a problem...I don't know, a broken hose or something...would you feel more secure leaving your car with the diagnositician who gets right under the hood, shows you the problem, and very seriously wants to fix it ? Or would you feel more secure with the mechanic who was trying to get you to take advantage of the big, big sale, did little to help you with the actual problem, and insisted that you keep coming back for more service ? It's kind of the same thing with sex therapists and prostitutes. Therapists don't sell their bodies; they sell their advice. Therapists don't ignore the problems in your marriage, give you a blowjob, and tell you to keep cming back when you want to get away from wifey-poo. Instead, they want you to work out these problems so that you and the missus can go through life knowing each other better. Prostitutes, on the whole, don't really give a shit about your marital problems. All they hear is "my wife never sucks me." and they know what they have to do to make you feel good. They care about your wallet. Don't believe me ? Try talking to a hooker for free about the problems that you are having in the bedroom. The hooker may listen for five minutes, but she will always...always... try to get you to pay for her services. Hookers don't get to the bottom of your wife's sexual repression and encourage you to be understanding. No. They just say "well come on back, Sweetie. You can have a hummer from me whenever you want." A quick fix is no fix at all. And lying to your spouse is detrimental to marriage.
You want a healthy way to discuss sex ? Don't look to hookers. Talk to each other. Care for each other. Healthy sex in a good relationship is possible. I can honestly say: hookers have no idea about that concept. It's all lay-for-pay. Some of us are great actresses; we can make you think that we care. That's called a "girlfriend experience" kind of party. We can also make you think that we love to be dominated. That's a "BDSM" party. We can make you think that we're always horny, that we're insatiable, and that we just can't get enough. That's the "okay, it's just another party" party. But, after you get your clothes on and leave - after our acting role has been completed - all we do is pick up the party sheet, deposit it in the dirty sheet bin, and get ready for the next wallet. Er, I mean...client.
XOXO
...K...
Americans are wholly hypocritical when it comes to the idea of sex. We sell sex everyday; whether it is the sexy model standing beside the luxury car, or the scantily-clad woman selling her latest CD. We fall for these sales tactics and buy these products and then we tell our children to be chaste and pure. As a result, our children are growing up with unhealthy ideas regarding sex; many of them are becoming highly promiscuous and are developing numerous STD's in the process. Why, just the other day, my 14 year-old daughter told me that she's upset because they guy that she had sex with now wants nothing to do with her. She didn't want to tell me what was going on, lest the opinion that I had of her being a vestal virgin was shattered. When she finally told me, I asked her "well, was that your first time ?" She admitted that it wasn't. And I said "well, then why are you so hesitant to tell me ?" She was hesitant because of her father's reaction when she told him.
All I said was "well, we need to get you on birth control...and I would like for you to be more selective about who you sleep with." Of course, my insides were tied in knots because, as a mother who has seen quite a lot in life, I still cannot protect my daughter from everything. I can't protect her from guys who use her and throw her away. I cannot protect her from the feelings of confusion that come with being a 14-year old. (Almost 15, but you get the idea.) All I can do is give her the best advice possible and not be too upset with these little admissions. And I can teach her about healthy sex.
"Healthy" sex is essential in every relationship. I have had lots and lots of "good" sex, but never healthy sex until I found the love of my life. In past relationships, we tried spicing things up with another person, a threesome if you will. It didn't work. The threesome itself was fine and no jealous feelings ensued. But, the relationship ended because we were not compatible. No amount of "spicing things up" is going to save a relationship where the two parties are not compatible.
When I worked at the Ranch, I had good sex, mediocre sex, forgettable sex, and awkward sex. None of it was healthy. Mostly because I was not healthy; none of my fellow hookers were healthy. I was always drunk, always stoned, and frequently high on coke. I was also doing the horizontal bop with women's husbands, children's fathers, and it was all anonymous. I barely remember anyone's name and I certainly couldn't tell you how many men and women I slept with while at the Ranch. In my humble, but well-educated opinion, anonymous sex is not healthy. It may be necessary for humans to have various sexual encounters of an anonymous nature in order to find themselves and explore things sexually; but the amount of anonymous sex that I had was not healthy. It didn't make me grow as a person. It didn't make me feel good about myself...or about sex. When you're hawking your yoni like it's a bargain-bin sale item, it's difficult to find any semblance of normalcy in the grand scheme of things.
Prostitution isn't the answer to ending America's stodgy attitude about sex. Honest discussions, loving exploration of our bodies, and sex education for our youth is a better idea. The prostitutes may know more about sex, especially in terms of the different fetishes, tastes, and positions. But, not only are they living an unhealthy life-style, but they are shooting from the hip like we all are. These are not sex therapists; therapists don't compete with each other to render their services to the public at-large in the same way that prostitutes do.
Tell me: If your car had a problem...I don't know, a broken hose or something...would you feel more secure leaving your car with the diagnositician who gets right under the hood, shows you the problem, and very seriously wants to fix it ? Or would you feel more secure with the mechanic who was trying to get you to take advantage of the big, big sale, did little to help you with the actual problem, and insisted that you keep coming back for more service ? It's kind of the same thing with sex therapists and prostitutes. Therapists don't sell their bodies; they sell their advice. Therapists don't ignore the problems in your marriage, give you a blowjob, and tell you to keep cming back when you want to get away from wifey-poo. Instead, they want you to work out these problems so that you and the missus can go through life knowing each other better. Prostitutes, on the whole, don't really give a shit about your marital problems. All they hear is "my wife never sucks me." and they know what they have to do to make you feel good. They care about your wallet. Don't believe me ? Try talking to a hooker for free about the problems that you are having in the bedroom. The hooker may listen for five minutes, but she will always...always... try to get you to pay for her services. Hookers don't get to the bottom of your wife's sexual repression and encourage you to be understanding. No. They just say "well come on back, Sweetie. You can have a hummer from me whenever you want." A quick fix is no fix at all. And lying to your spouse is detrimental to marriage.
You want a healthy way to discuss sex ? Don't look to hookers. Talk to each other. Care for each other. Healthy sex in a good relationship is possible. I can honestly say: hookers have no idea about that concept. It's all lay-for-pay. Some of us are great actresses; we can make you think that we care. That's called a "girlfriend experience" kind of party. We can also make you think that we love to be dominated. That's a "BDSM" party. We can make you think that we're always horny, that we're insatiable, and that we just can't get enough. That's the "okay, it's just another party" party. But, after you get your clothes on and leave - after our acting role has been completed - all we do is pick up the party sheet, deposit it in the dirty sheet bin, and get ready for the next wallet. Er, I mean...client.
XOXO
...K...
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